Death Bed Conversion

A few weeks ago, I was contacted by a local physician, who informed me that an acquaintance of mine was in the hospital and that she was close to death and that she was asking for me.  Being with a person at the time of their death is a normal function of a priest.  However, what made this request unique is that I knew her to be a life long atheist.  When I entered the room it was dark, cold, and lonely.  I called her by name and slowly she rolled over to see who was speaking to her.  I could tell she was struggling to focus.   However, after a few squints she recognized me and said, "It's Fr. Stan White.  Please sit by me".  I scooted the chair right next to her bed and for the next few minutes we just sat there in silence.  The only thing to be heard was the sound of two human beings breathing. It was as if we were the only two people in an empty cathedral.  I did not want to embarrass her, but my friend was unaware that her blanket had fallen off of her and her hospital gown was not secure - she was lying there fully exposed.  I thought for a minute and decided to ask her if she would mind if I straightened her blanket and gown.  She replied and said that would be fine.  As I re-tied her gown and covered her up, she said with a tender voice, "that feels so nice".  I could tell, she had not been touched, except by clinical hands, for a very long time by the way she responded to my hands.

I sat back down next to her in the quiet.  The mind of this priest wondered what should I do now. After time went by just sitting with the silence, all of a sudden I heard myself say, "would you like for me to rub your back?"  She responded with a simple, "yes please".  I stood back up and, for the next ten minutes or so, lightly and tenderly rubbed her back as she moaned and uttered "thank you" and " that's so nice".

For a moment, my priest mind became a monkey mind; filled with questions about was I was being faithful, was I doing the right thing?  You see, there were no sounds of the sinner's prayer being repeated.  There were no preacher words dancing in the air.  There was no baptismal holy water to pour over her.  There were no elements of bread and wine to consume.  I'm not sure what or if anything happened to my friend that day; but, I know what happened to me.  I was born again.  I may not have been faithful to the church that day; but I have no doubt that I was faithful to God. See, what my friend needed was not a priest; what she needed was a human being.



Becoming Human
By Hafiz

Once a man came to me and spoke for hours about
"His great visions of God" he felt he was having.

He asked me for confirmation, saying,
"Are these wondrous dreams true?"

I replied, "How many goats do you have?"

He looked surprised and said,
"I am speaking of sublime visions
And you ask
About goats!"

And I spoke again saying,
"Yes, brother - how many do you have?"

"Well, Hafiz, I have sixty-two."

"And how many wives?"

Again he looked surprised, then said,
"Four."

"How many rose bushes in your garden,
How many children,
Are your parents still alive,
Do you feed the birds in winter?"

And to all he answered.

Then I said,
"You asked me if I thought your visions were true,
I would say that they were if they make you become
More human,
More kind to every creature and plant
That you know."