Crawling Out Of The Shell

For the past three years, for personal reasons, I have lived an extremely introverted and almost hermit-like existence.  I've had lots of alone time.  I've been outside for hours at the time.  I've sat in and with silence sometimes for days.  This is quite a contrast from the urban and extroverted life I lived before.  For the last three years I did my job as rector of the parish and as a father to my kids, but other than that I have not done much of anything.  I've hardly read, which is unusual for me.  I've not written (words or music), which is unusual for me.  I've not been creative.  My brain at times just felt too tired to even think.  For the last three years, my life has very much been about being rather that doing; silence rather than words (voice); empty spaces rather than spaces filled with objects.  At times I would wonder if I would ever speak again (beyond my parish), write again, or create again.  I really did not know.  I am very thankful for the people who love me and that have told me regularly that I was not finished.  I wanted to believe them, but at times I did not.  And, I became ok with the fact that I may not. I guess that is a kind of "letting go".

On October 24, out of the blue, I created the "confessions" page and wrote the first post.  Almost immediately, I felt my mind coming to life.  I felt my creative juices starting to flow again.  It may appear a small step to you, but it was a big step for this hermit to crawl out of its shell.  Last week according to the Facebook report, we had an actual reach of 1,645 people with the potential reach of 19,676 (friends of friends).  Folk may tire of my ramblings and this growth my not be sustainable, however I'm writing for my own therapy and my own re-awaking.  If anyone else resonates with it that's just a bonus.  I realize that to some "confessions" may be a little edgy.  If you feel that way, I apologize if I've been offensive to you in anyway.  However at this point in my life, I am too tired and have been through too much not to speak my truth if I'm going to speak at all.

I am very thankful for all of you that liked, commented, and shared however some people are not Facebook users.  So, starting today, "confessions" will be available in several different formats.  You can go to, or refer someone to, my personal website, www.stanleyjwhite.com and click the links to follow on twitter, see a blog archive of my posts, or sign up to receive an email version.

There's a time to be still; there's a time to dance.  There's a time to just be; there's a time to create. There's a time to be quiet; there's a time to speak.  It's always time to love.